The Choice

I got online….I researched the pros and cons of both lumpectomy and mastectomy.  I poured over all of the material the Breast Care Center gave me….all the books, magazines, pamphlets.  I got two books on my Kindle I would recommend.  Both are pretty short easy reads with great info.  The first was “Let Me Get This Off My Chest” by Margaret Lesh.  Funny book.  Get it.  It is her story about her fight with Breast Cancer, twice.  Informative and hilarious all at the same time.  The other was “Fight Now:  Eat & Live Proactively Against Breast Cancer” by Aaron Tabor MD.  Lots of great info and links.

I could go into all of the statistics but I won’t.  While there isn’t a huge difference in the survival rates between lumpectomy and mastectomy…..I chose a double mastectomy.  I was a very large breasted woman…like I said…I had those honking 42DD jugs…ugh.  Because I had several densities in both breasts I felt I didn’t want to be burdened anymore with them.  For years since puberty they have given me trouble and now was a chance to get rid of them.  No more back pain and no more worry that the cancer would come back.  Now that is a slightly deceptive statement.  It isn’t 100% that I will not get breast cancer again even though I had the double mastectomy.  But, for peace of mind and simplicity I think….no boobs …. no cancer.  Once again, not realistic, but peace of mind.  I didn’t want to spend my life worrying about will it come back to the rest of my remaining right breast and/or develop in my left breast.  Will they be able to detect it behind all of those densities?  Once again, peace of mind.

I guess I should mention too that I have no health history.  I was adopted.  This works both against me and in my favor.  Because there is no knowledge of a history of breast cancer in my biological family it is hard to say will it return.  Because I don’t know I get all the testing I need…for example the genetic testing.  I will talk about this later.

I set up surgery for Monday September 30, 2013 at 11 am.

There are a range of emotions tied to this decision.  This whole time I feel fine.  I am not crying.  For some reason that bothers me.  I feel like I should have more emotions about this…I can’t explain it really…I just keep thinking about what next, what to do to get this cancer out of me.  I don’t need my boobs, they don’t define me or make me who I am.  They were a part of me, yes, but I don’t want them I don’t need them.  I moved from test to test, appointment to appointment…hurry up and wait …wait wait wait for the next test or appointment.  Everyone kept telling me what a great attitude I have towards this whole cancer thing and keep smiling.  I just want the tumor out.  I swear even my left breast was having sympathy pains for the right.  LOL.

I am ready to put on my pink gloves and fight like a girl.


One thought on “The Choice

  1. Romerica Mitchell says:

    Know you went round after round with yourself, about what decision to make . I believe it is no easy task. But choosing to prolong your life is a good decision., because He’s not finished with you yet.
    A person of your caliber is hard to find.

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