I lost 12 pounds of boob…WOW!! that’s like a sack of suger each with a little extra to boot. BA HAAAAA….
I am feeling much better and my blood pressure has decreased significantly by just losing those 12 pounds. I am eager to see my scars. What is going on under all this gauze and ace bandage??? The first follow up trip to the surgeon I wait eagerly in the waiting room. My turn my turn my turn….ugh what is taking so long…..I gotta get in here and see what my body looks like. I anticpate a bizzilion staples or stiches. Finally…my turn.
Dr. Bleza is very soft spoken. He asks me if I want to see, is it ok…? I appreciate his consideration….yes….let’s do this. As I am unwound from all the ace bandanging and then a few layers of gauze I finally see. I went from a 42DD to little itty bitty pooches. I have two straight lines where my breases used to be. No staples, no stiches….he used steri-strips. Wow…what an idea…so much less scarring. Just two perfectly straight lines from my underarm area to mid chest for both sides. There is fluid in each area, more on the left as he has left more of the tissue than the right for more to work with for re-construction should I chose later. I am not freaked out nor grossed out. I am happy and take a breath. I am ok. My breasts do not define me now….for so long they did. I used to get teased all the time growing up in school about being so “chesty”. When boys/men talk to me they talk to my boobs not my face…I have to remind them I am up here where my face is…not down there where my boobs are…..lol. My back no longer hurts, my blood pressure is normal again if not a slight lower. I don’t feel as overweight as I did. I still weigh to much but it isn’t as noticable now that those huge jugs are gone….LOL … This is great. But how will my Sean react? My girls?
My insurance allows a visiting nurse to come to my home to help me with my drains and dressings. I don’t really want one. I have a limited medical background and I am capable but I decide what the heck. A very nice nurse is assigned to me and she visits every Wed. for a couple of weeks. Sean learns how to help me with my drains. He is careful and takes over once she clears me. I ask him if he is afraid to see, he says no without hesitation. My girls are funny….they aren’t afraid either…they just comment that it is “weird” seeing me without my “large breasts”. I have been sooooo big for so long and now gone..poof. no more. It is funny.
It is time to see Dr. Farhat my oncologist. I met with him briefly once before surgery. It is now his turn to take me through the next phase of this journey. The hard part. I do not know yet if I will need to do Chemo or not. I am waiting for the ONCO DX testing that helps determine if I will or not.
In the meantime I continue to heal and even though I still have one drain in I do the local breast cancer walk at our neighborhood park with a friend of mine and his son. It feels good to be out and walking and surrounded by so many people like me and their friends and families that are going through what mine are. I am two weeks post surgery and I have never been more ALIVE!!!