pink pink pink…………. PINK!!!
One year ago I became cancer free. Today is a big milestone. Looking back I feel I have been immersed in everything PINK this last year. Pink was never a color I loved. My favorite color is blue. Preferably cobalt or electric blue. My world quickly became Pink overnight on September 12, 2013. No time for red, green, yellow, and certainly NOT black (even though I love that color too). Forget 50 shades of grey, it is ALL pink baby!!!
There are numerous shades of Pink….all of which have cradled me through my journey this year.
Harsh fluorescent pink hit me when I was told I have breast cancer. It was bold, strong, defiant, FIGHTING loud!!! Fight and survive is how I felt. Everyone around me put on their pink in support. We were an army of pink. Each surgery and everything in-between my family and friends rallied and helped me fight.
In between surgeries, there are several shades of pink… no longer def-con Pink it is time to gear down and soften to “regular” pink…still fighting but no longer on alert, but fighting, healing.
There is a shade of pink, almost purple…this is the pink I thought of when I was exhausted…it cradled me, held me safe….not loud…not soft…just safe. Reflective, thoughtful, restorative.
Honestly, sometimes I get sick of pink…I don’t want to be everything pink…these huge scars on my body make me feel like the bride of Frankenstein, the bruises from shots, IV’s, poking, etc., all the bumper stickers, our license plates, t-shirts, wine bottles, key chain,….everything PINK!…
But then I remember, all these pink ribbons hold me together. They tripped me in the beginning, to catch me when I fell, and continue to hold me together…never letting me go. I will never be free of my ribbons, they will be with me for the rest of my life, and this is ok. I now embrace them.
I am grateful for my scars, my ribbons, they remind me I WON. I was torn apart and put back together…..make no mistake…I earned my stripes and I wear them proudly.
Today I wear my soft pink….no fighting nor screaming, no cradling, no falling, just an even soft acknowledgment that I am here and continue to survive. How fitting my anniversary is on the eve of the Breast Cancer Awareness month, October.
Let the next year(s) begin.