Yesterday, I found myself in tears walking the treadmill at the gym. Not tears of sorrow but tears of spirituality. I had decided to listen to my “Classical music” playlist. A song from the movie “Da Vinci Code” came on “Chevalier de Sangreal” by Hans Zimmer. This song has always been very moving to me. I cry every time I hear it. It is played at the end of the movie when Robert Langdon figures out where the sarcophagus of Mary Magdalene has been moved to and rests. He recites the message from the cryptex during the song:
“The Holy Grail ‘neath ancient Roslin waits. The blade and chalice guarding o’er Her gates. Adorned in master’s loving art, She lies. She rests at last beneath starry skies.”
This song is one of the very few that finds its way deep into my soul. Do you know what I mean? A song so melodically beautiful, so perfect, so amazing it brings you to tears.
It started me thinking about Lent. Lent is various things to various people. For me I always find it makes me reflect on my own spirituality, who I am, what God and Jesus mean to me, my faith. I reflect on all that Jesus went through. How uplifted I feel singing songs on Easter Sunday for the resurrection. For some reason, this time of the year I always feel spent. Out of breath. And yet, there always seems to be some miracle, coincidence, or divine intervention that happens. Something to spark my internal fire to say “hey….what is happening….get up woman and praise God, He has never let you down”. Time and time again I have had “things” happen to me that could be interpreted as any number of things….but walking on that treadmill Sunday, that was divine. Huge snowflakes began to fall like angelic tears from Heaven and I felt renewed. This last year and a half has been for a lack of better terms, hell. I have marched through it with the help of family and friends, my pink ribbons and God’s armor of favor. It has certainly tested my faith. To believe or not to believe. I know this Easter Sunday; I will once again find my renewal in all the trumpeting Easter Lily’s, happy bright yellow daffodils, Angelic music, the word of God and love of the risen Christ.
There is a dialogue at the end of the movie between Robert Langdon and Sophie:
“Okay, maybe there is no proof. Maybe the Grail is lost forever. But, Sophie, the only thing that matters is what you believe. History shows us Jesus was an extraordinary man, a human inspiration. That’s it. That’s all the evidence has ever proved. But… when I was a boy… when I was down in that well Teabing told you about, I thought I was going to die, Sophie. What I did, I prayed. I prayed to Jesus to keep me alive so I could see my parents again, so I could go to school again, so I could play with my dog. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn’t alone down there. Why does it have to be human or divine? Maybe human is divine. Why couldn’t Jesus have been a father and still be capable of all those miracles? Well, here’s the question: A living descendent of Jesus Christ – would she destroy faith? Or would she renew it? So again I say, what matters is what you believe.”
Whether human, divine, or both……I chose to believe. It has brought me this far, and continues to sustain me.